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A podcast about baby loss, legacy and learning to live again. Alison Ingleby interviews parents who've experienced stillbirth, miscarriage and infant death and the professionals who support them
Episodes
Friday Jun 19, 2020
Friday Jun 19, 2020
This week, I talk to Elle Howe about her daughter, Giorgia, who was stillborn in August 2019. We talk about making memories, support through grief and what her son said to her when they told him his little sister wouldn’t be coming home.
In the interview, we talk about:
- Elle’s pregnancy with Giorgia and finding out her heart had stopped beating (11:15)
- Breaking the news to her son, Benedict (18:53)
- Going into hospital to give birth to Giorgia (23:50)
- Making memories and bringing Benedict to meet his baby sister (29:04)
- The support they got from friends and family in the weeks following Giorgia’s death and at her funeral (38:32)
- Milestones during the first year of grief (44:22)
- Benedict’s awareness of his sister and parenting after loss (50:21)
You can connect with Elle on Instagram @elle_howe. In the podcast, we talk about Remember My Baby, a charity who offers a gift of baby remembrance photography to UK parents who lose their baby, and Charlies Angel Centre, a baby loss bereavement support charity in Leeds.
In the introduction, I talk about some of the latest research published by Tommy’s into improving pre-eclampsia diagnosis and understanding premature birth. Find out more on their website.
If you have any feedback on the show, suggestions for guests or would like to share your story, you can connect with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/), Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints) or email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com. If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating or review on your podcast app!
Friday Jun 12, 2020
Friday Jun 12, 2020
In Episode 20 of Footprints on our Hearts, I talk to Karl, a husband, father and obstetrician about his experience of recurrent miscarriage.
Karl is incredibly open and honest about how it took him many years and five miscarriages to accept the emotional aspect of the journey he and his wife have gone through, and be able to grieve the six babies they didn’t get to bring home.
In the interview we talk about:
- Karl’s first experience of miscarriage and his scientific, rational approach to baby loss. (6:30)
- Recurrent miscarriage following Elijah’s birth and breaking down his ivory tower. (18:30)
- The impact of recurrent loss and a busy career on his marriage. (34:38)
- How his experience of loss has fuelled his passion for helping others bring their children into the world. (40:50)
- Karl’s worries during Emma’s pregnancy with their daughter Ariella. (45:40)
- Why he chose to raise money for Tommy’s and how cycling helped him address his grief and learn more about himself. (1:04:05)
You can find Karl on Instagram @the_ambitious_endurance and Twitter @ambition2endure. He blogs on endurance sports, facing your fears and baby loss on his blog (https://ambitionendurance.wordpress.com/) and is currently fundraising for Tommy’s at https://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/Karl.
If you enjoy this episode, please leave a review of the podcast on your podcast app and share it with your friends!
Friday Jun 05, 2020
Friday Jun 05, 2020
This week’s episode is the second half of my interview with Frankie Brunker, author of the book, These Precious Little People. You can listen to the first part of her story in Episode 17.
Frankie’s first child, her daughter, Esme, was stillborn in 2013. Years later, after having two further children, she decided to write the book, These Precious Little People, to help parents talk to children of all ages about baby loss.
In the interview, we talk about:
- Her experience of grief in the early days and weeks. (13:20)
- How attending her local Sands group helped and searching for answers. (15.47)
- Battling with self-doubt, shame and guilt (25:26)
- How her sister incorporated Esme in her children’s lives and the impact of Esme’s death on her nephew. (30:22)
- Pregnancy after loss, bringing her son home and reminders of Esme (37:40)
- Talking about Esme with her children. (50:48)
- Why she decided to write These Precious Little People (1:01:15)
You can connect with Frankie on Instagram @thesepreciouslittlepeople and find out more about her book on her website: https://preciouslittlepeople.wixsite.com/preciouslittlepeople/pre-order-a-copy.
The best place to buy a copy of These Precious Little People is on the website of Joel The Complete Package, as proceeds go to help support families through pregnancy and parenting after baby loss.
In the introduction, I talk about Skye’s first birthday and announce the giveaway winner. I also talk about some of the shocking statistics relating to pregnancy and infant loss and maternal death of black women in the UK.
This week, I wanted to give a special shout out to the Sisters in Loss podcast. The podcast has been going for almost 3 years with over 150 black women and men sharing their stories of pregnancy and infant loss and infertility. You can listen to the podcast on your usual podcast app or via the website: https://sistersinloss.com/
Friday May 29, 2020
Friday May 29, 2020
In Episode 18 Part 2, I talk about my experiences of grief and depression, the loneliness of baby loss, searching for hope and how we’ve chosen to remember Skye. I also read out the letter I wish I had been able to give myself a year ago, in the weeks following Skye’s death. A letter of reassurance from my future self.
This part of the episode is split into four segments:
- Grief, depression and searching for happiness. (1:48)
- The impact of loss on friendships and relationships and how the Covid-19 pandemic brought feelings back to the surface. (29:56)
- Podcasting, fundraising and Skye’s legacy. (49:00)
- One year on – a letter to my past self. (1:00:55)
There's still time to enter Skye's birthday giveaway! Visit my Instagram page or the show notes at www.footprintsonourhearts.com for more information.
If you have any feedback on the show, suggestions for guests or would like to share your story, you can connect with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/), Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints) or email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com. If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating or review on your podcast app!
Friday May 29, 2020
Friday May 29, 2020
No guest this week! Episode 18 is a two-part solo show in which I talk about my daughter, Skye, who was stillborn in 2019 and what I’ve learned during my first year of life after loss.
Part 1 of the episode is split into three segments:
- My pregnancy with Skye, feeling reduced movements and finding out she’d died. (5:43)
- The “in between time” between finding out she’d died and going into hospital to give birth. (22:35)
- Skye’s birth. Having to give birth on the main labour ward, feeling numb and not knowing what to do. (32:13)
The second part of the podcast deals with grief, loneliness and Skye’s legacy.
There's still time to enter Skye's birthday giveaway! Visit my Instagram page or the show notes at www.footprintsonourhearts.com for more information.
If you have any feedback on the show, suggestions for guests or would like to share your story, you can connect with me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/), Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints) or email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com. If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating or review on your podcast app!
Friday May 22, 2020
Friday May 22, 2020
This week is the first of a two-part interview with Frankie Brunker, author of the book, These Precious Little People. You can listen to the second half of her story in Episode 19 (airing June 5th).
Frankie’s first child, her daughter, Esme, was stillborn in 2013. Years later, after having two further children, she decided to write the book, These Precious Little People, to help parents talk to children of all ages about baby loss.
In the interview, we talk about:
- Their decision to have children and finding out she was pregnant with Esme. (9:27)
- An early pregnancy scare and memories of her pregnancy. (17:33)
- Realising that she hadn’t felt Esme move and what she’d been told about reporting reduced movements. (37:55)
- Finding out her baby had died. (46:46)
- Struggling with the thought of having to wait to give birth to Esme. (55:40)
- Other people’s response to Frankie’s pregnancy after losing Esme. (59:40)
You can connect with Frankie on Instagram @thesepreciouslittlepeople and find out more about her book on her website: https://preciouslittlepeople.wixsite.com/preciouslittlepeople/pre-order-a-copy.
The best place to buy a copy of These Precious Little People is on the website of Joel The Complete Package, as proceeds go to help support families through pregnancy and parenting after baby loss.
Frankie has very kindly donated a copy of her book which you can win as part of Skye’s birthday giveaway! Also included in the prize is a gorgeous eco-friendly candle personalised with your baby’s name and a beautiful bookmark.
The giveaway is open until midnight (UK time) on June 3rd and you can find details of how to enter by looking for the giveaway post on my Instagram wall - @footprintsonourhearts.
If you’re not on Instagram, you can still enter by sharing a link to the podcast with your friends on Facebook (or in a Facebook group) and emailing a screenshot of your post to alison@footprintsonourhearts.com.
You can find more details in the full show notes for this episode at https://www.footprintsonourhearts.com.
Friday May 15, 2020
Friday May 15, 2020
In this week’s episode, I chat to Chainie Jackson about her son, Tobias, who was born prematurely in October 2019 and lived for fifty-one days.
Talking with Chainie really opened my eyes to what life is like as a parent of a baby in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). I’m so grateful she was able to share the story of the highs and lows of Tobias’s short life. It is a heartbreaking story but a beautiful one.
In the interview, we talk about:
- Her pregnancy with Tobias and when they realized something was wrong. (5:16)
- Life in the NICU during the 51 days of his life. (17:30)
- What the “Beads of Courage” are and how they gave Chainie hope. (27:16)
- The first five months of grief – why things get harder, not easier. (35:57)
- How her Christian faith helped her and brought her peace at the end of Tobias’s life. (44:50)
- Why she’s chosen to share Tobias’s story. (50:30)
You can connect with Chainie on Instagram @puzzlepiecesofmyhe.art and read more about Tobias on her blog: https://puzzlepiecesofmyhe.art.blog/.
You can see a photo of Tobias’s Beads of Courage here, and find out more about charity that runs the scheme on the Beads of Courage website.
If you enjoy this episode, I would love it if you could share it with a friend or on social media. Please subscribe to get future episodes of the podcast direct to your favourite podcast app and follow me on Instagram for latest news and updates.
Friday May 08, 2020
Friday May 08, 2020
In Episode 15, I talk to Georgia Keogh-Horgan whose son, Henry, died of SIDS just two hours after his birth. Because Henry’s death was sudden and unexplained, this triggered a set of legal proceedings including an inquest.
In the interview, we talk about:
- Georgia’s son, Henry, who died hours after birth in October 2017
- Spending time in a hospice making memories with Henry following his post-mortem
- Planning his funeral and why they decided on a woodland burial site
- Why Georgia chose to donate her wedding dress to Cherished Gowns
- How Henry’s death impacted her experience of giving birth to and looking after, her daughter, Merryn, and the difficulties of balancing parenting a living child and a dead child
Georgia donated her wedding dress to Cherished Gowns, a charity that provides the families of babies who are stillborn, miscarried or pass away shortly after birth with items of clothing that they are able to be dressed in for their funeral.
After Merryn’s birth, they were loaned an apnoea monitor by the Lullaby Trust to monitor Merryn’s breathing as part of the charity's support to bereaved parents when they have another baby.
You can connect with Georgia on Instagram @_abcdefgeorg and read more about Henry on her blog: https://heyworlditshenry.com/.
Please help me raise awareness of all forms of baby loss by recommending the podcast to friends and family or sharing on social media. Together, we can break the silence.
Friday May 01, 2020
Friday May 01, 2020
In Episode 14 of Footprints on our Hearts, I talk to Lucy about her experiences of miscarriage and infertility and why she set up the Rainbow Running Club and Rainbow Yoga Club.
As this episode goes out, Lucy is currently hosting online midweek mindfulness sessions and has just launched the Rainbow Reading Club.
In the interview, we talk about:
- Lucy’s experience of miscarriage and infertility, including the impact on her life and friendships and the challenges of IVF (11:39)
- Being pregnant and grieving a “normal” pregnancy (34:38)
- The emotional impact of further loss (39:42)
- Discovering running and how the Rainbow Running Club was born (47:05)
- How she’s expanded the Rainbow Running Club and taken events online (54:10)
And I ask Lucy the most important question of all – what her favourite cake is!
You can connect with Lucy and find out more about the Rainbow Running and Yoga Club on Instagram @_mother_of_one_ and on the website https://www.rainbowrunningclub.co.uk/. All information on the online events can be found on Lucy’s Instagram account.
If you have any suggestions for guests for the podcast or you’d like to come on to talk about your experience of baby loss and legacy, I’d love to hear from you. As well as talking to parents, I’d love to talk to grandparents, other relatives or friends who’ve been affected by the loss of a child about their experiences. You can email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com or get in touch on me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/) or Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints).
Friday Apr 24, 2020
Friday Apr 24, 2020
My guest this week is Kate Breen, mother to Isobel, who was stillborn in 2016, and Bruce. I met Kate at our local Sands group where she’s leading a project to create a new memorial garden as a space for parents to go to remember their children.
In the interview, we talk about:
- Finding out her first child, her daughter Isobel, had died at full term (9:38)
- Isobel’s birth and Kate’s decision to donate her breast milk (16:16)
- Kate and her husband’s decision to organise a large funeral (34:44)
- The impact of Isobel’s death on her parents who live in Texas (40:15)
- Why she chose to stay in touch with the NCT friends she’d made when pregnant with Isobel (44:55)
- How gardening helped her through maternity leave and the spaces she’s helped create for others to remember their babies (50:11)
During the interview, Kate mentions the leaflet Sands produced for grandparents, which her parents found useful. This is part of their online support pack which you can download here: https://www.sands.org.uk/support/bereavement-support
In the podcast intro, I mention National Infertility Awareness week and the midweek mindfulness session run by Lucy @_mother_of_one that I found really useful as a mental reset this week. Lots of small charities including baby loss charities are struggling right now, so if you want to do something positive this week, please give them a shout out, donation or other form of support.
You can email alison@footprintsonourhearts.com or get in touch on me on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/footprintsonourhearts/) or Twitter (https://twitter.com/skyesfootprints). If you enjoy the podcast, please leave a rating or review!